When your heart says YES, but He says Not Yet


I'm almost 30, and I'm single.. again. :) 

It took me almost a year to get over my ex and to move on, I've done quite a heck of things. But, the thing I enjoyed the most was traveling.

In a course of less than a year, I've been to places I never thought I'd be there.

Singapore and Palawan was surely 2017's highlight for me. Where I got to know myself and other people too. I've met guys, dated some and we might have chat all night long. But, I knew I wasn't ready.

Then quite recently, I met someone and I like to keep that in private. So only a few knew about him. Only a few knew how I felt towards him too.

He was not the perfect guy, he made me roll my eyes yet he makes me smile right after. He was so game with the things I want to do. He would even stay up late with me so he knows I won't be lonely.

However...

His also nursing a broken heart or we can say, a heart that has learned not to give too much, as his been losing too much too. He admitted that he likes someone but that someone has never given him a chance.

At that time, I only see him as a friend and so I pushed him towards the girl he likes. Then one day, he gave me a great news — right on his special day. The girl finally answered to his messages and was responsive too.

I was smiling when he told me that but I wonder if it showed in my face, that a tinged or pinch of my heart was all I think about.

I laughed with him and said, you can do it!

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Islas de Gigantes 2018

I'm sharing here a video that my friend created. This is a summary of our trip to Islas De Gigantes, Iloilo.

This quite a rush, so I'll update this post with details soon...





the forever girl bestfriend

Ano ba naman klaseng tadhana yung meron sakin? That I always fall for guys who sees me as a girl best friend.
Look, it's not really a big deal cause I do value friendship and appreciate the fact that if I remain friends with past flings, I'm happy pa rin.

Love is indeed a freaking complicated thing — it enters you and can either break or make you. Mess you up yet will right after fix you.

So para lang mailabas ko ito sa puso ko, hayaan ninyo po ako magkuwento. :)

Sa ayaw magbasa feel free to just scroll up or click the X button sa upper right nung window.

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Let's all call them Besties!

So, it started with this guy a.k.a Bestie #1 --- I became super friends in highschool. He was the campus crush and sa kanyang dreamy stance, girls are like so gaga over him. His the boy-next-door-shy-type kaya mas lalo habulin. Pero despite sa commotion when he turns a corridor, for me, his plain NORMAL. I know his bloopers (tatawa kayo to the max if nakwento ko), his plans sa buhay and almost we join same clubs; hindi sya sasali if wala din ako (usually..) and syempre as a supportive friend, andun din ako kahit OP na ako sa lahat, kasi nga attention was always on him. Though, he always drags me into that crowd kasi nga kasalanan nya in the first place bakit andun ako.

It's a good thing that I'm an introvert kasi I'm good without people. LOL!


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a valentine memento

The heart really never gives up.

It will keep on beating until your last breath drops.

It will keep on loving until it turns cold and black.

It will keep on accepting the hurts and rejections, to allow crazy assumptions yet it can still move on.

The heart never stops to hope;
To hope new love will come
To hope time never runs out
To freeze so it can cherish a moment forever

How I wish it can be easily said than done. Cause sometimes the heart gets weary of loving and committing same mistakes all over again.

But, its the cycle of life. Everything turns outwardly positive when that abandoned or hurt heart takes the first step to say.

Yes, I'm ready to fall in love again.

[fanfic] {KevFic] Sunset

Hi! I'm going crazy about a certain football player since July of this year. He is legally my crush but I have to keep it to myself, cause my friend has a big crush on him too. It's a girl rule (just between my football buddies) that we should not have same crushes. So it's our secret now and I had to choose another guy from the club. (yeah, poor guy)

Good thing they don't know that we have a crush on them and like I always do, I'm fine with just cheering for them and looking at them from a distance. I wonder though, if his a reader, will he ever read my story? What could be his opinion about this?

Yeah, this is about me and him. Well, my imaginary world with him. Let's call this guy Kevin and call myself Kristy. Yeah, that should do.

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SUNSET OneShot : 5:00 PM

It just so happens that it's the eve of my birthday. Me and my friends, went to a local town mall to get free tickets for a football game.

Me, Gonxh, Winter and Cris were entering the mall when I caught a glimpse of my ex-boyfriend together with his new beau. Gosh, it's been a year, I don't love him but his face infuriates me. I didn't even realize that three of our fave football players were coming from the opposite direction. I was so lost in my thoughts that I started to step back and looked for the nearest exit.

Little did I know that another person noticed my pained expression and he instinctively followed me out.

I found myself crying, tears just kept flowing and stopped at an empty stall in the parking lot. I started to slightly punch the wall, hoping this strong emotion will just go away. When, I heard someone say..

"I think you'll need a handkerchief"

I turned and was surprised to see Kevin, my crush, my secret crush. He was smiling and oh so handsome; while I was a mess and teary-eyed ugly.

"Come on, go ahead and take it. You look like a mess."

Damn, he noticed that. I slowly reached out for his handkerchief. When another set of whispering voices came. Damn again, its my ex and his new girlfriend.

"Hi, can my girl take a picture with you? We just heard your from Ceres Negros FC, though we haven't really been into one of your games yet."

Idiot! Stupid! How can you be fan if you haven't watched their games? GAWD! She just likes Kevin cause his so handsome. I won't be surprised if she doesn't know his player number. Kevin however, did the most unexpected thing I'd never imagined.

"Sorry, me and", he looked at me getting a cue.

"Kristy", I replied automatically.

"Sorry, but me and Kristy are in a hurry. We have to catch something by 5:00 PM. Maybe next time, after our game", Kevin said smoothly and he suddenly grabbed my hand and walked towards his car.

Yeah, I'm assuming the white Toyota Vios is his car. Why a Vios though? He could have bought something more grand? Well, going back, with my current train of thoughts I let him drag me and as he politely opened the front door, I started to panic.

"Excuse me, why would I go with you? I don't talk to strangers". Gosh, Kristy his your #1 secret crush how can you refuse? My rational self however, did not agree to it because you know, he might be doing something bad.

He smirked and rolled his eyes as he trapped me between himself and his car, "Look, I don't want trouble so you better cooperate, I'm guessing that guy's a bastard and your a damsel in distress. I'll just drive you away from here. Okay?"

His eyes, were like piercing to my inner soul and my legs became wobbly. Why is he so pretty and why is he helping me? Why does he smell like fresh mint? With a hundred questions inside my head and feeling confused I was surprised that without a single word, I sat and buckled up the seat belt. As soon as we're out of the mall parking, he started to ask.

"So, don't I get a thank you?"

"Huh?"

"Really, no words of gratitude at all"

"Why did you do that?"

"Do what? Save you from that guy? Who is he anyway?"

"My ex", I simply replied.

"That explains"

"And the girl is his new chick", I added quickly.

"I figured that out."

"Thanks for dragging me out there, I feel much better now", I started to say and yet my heart starts skipping a beat. I felt so giddy and yet I have this instinct to just act normal.

"You're welcome, so what's your story?, he asked.

"You don't want to hear it out. It's stupid and boring"

He laughed and oh, that smile - its so infectious, I started to laugh too.

"Hey Kristy, I hope you don't mind but there's this place I'd like to visit now. Will you accompany me?"

Is this a date? Is he asking me out for an instant date? I was blushing but I don't want to be obvious so I sighed, "If I say no, will you let me out?"

"Actually, no, I don't want to go there alone"

"Then you could've asked your team mates.", I replied annoyingly.

"Well, your most convenient at that time and besides they were busy looking for new stuff at the mall. I don't think they'll say yes"

I did not reply to that, I was again lost in my train of thoughts. How was my ex? He seems happy. GAWD. Why do I keep recalling that.

"Are you alright?" he started to ask.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay."

"We're here."

I did not realize that we have actually arrived on whatever this place is. We drove into a backyard, as an old couple approached him. His Family?

"Good afternoon Mrs. Locsin! I'd just like to watch the 5:00 PM view"

"Sure iho", Mrs. Locsin smiled. "and who is this young lady?"

"Kristy. Mrs. Locsin this is Mr. & Mrs. Locsin, they own this place.", he introduced.

I bowed my head, like I usually do and Mrs. Locsin embraced me.

"A friend of Kevin is always welcome in here, come in, go ahead the two of you. I'll fish out some snacks", Mrs. Locsin as she loosened her hug.

"Thank you and no need for snacks...", but Kevin interrupted, "Apple juice would be great and pimiento sandwich too"

He then tipped his head to the right, motioning me to follow. So I did and had my jaw drop by an amazing view. Sunset. 5:00 PM, I confirmed as I checked my watch.

I saw Kevin sat down on the beach and I did same beside him.

"Are you sure your alright?", he started.

"Yeah, I told you earlier."

"This place, I found it during one of our road trips. I started looking for a drink when I found Mrs. Locsin picking up a heavy bag. I got left behind and helped her. It was her who showed me this place. I'd usually go here when I feel down or upset, or just tired after a game."

"Does your team mates know about this place?", I kind of shifted the subject.

"No"

"Oh"

"So you know I'm from a football club"

"Yeah, I do. I haven't missed a single game since the start of season"

"Then, why don't you scream like a giddy fangirl when I handed you the handkerchief?", he mischievously asked.

"Honestly, do you really think that your really that good looking?" ... honestly he is, but I'd like to keep that to myself and act normal, I wonder if he can see me blush.

"Yeah, I still hear girls screaming my name in my dreams"

"Nightmare! Hahaha.. I'm so glad I'm just a normal girl and can sleep peacefully"

"Yeah, wish I had that kind of sleep"

"You're actually one of my favorite players" I truthfully said. "Along with Bienve, Kawase, Schrock, Manny and Roland.. actually everyone in your team"

He looked at me with those brown eyes and smiled. "What's your story? I think you owe me that one."

I grazed into his looks and looked away. "My ex left me on the eve of my birthday"

"I was right, his a bastard", he angrily replied.

So I continued, "He told me that he never knew me anymore, that I'm always busy, striving to have the best career and does not want to be a hindrance to my dreams. He thinks that I deserve someone better. Someone who could support me in everything I do and all that shit. When I asked him if he likes someone else, and that I won't get mad if he admitted it, he simply said no and he might not have a girlfriend over the next months. Take note of the quote & unquote, month"

"Yeah, go on"

"I loved him then and assumed maybe he just wants space, besides its true I've never had proper time for him. I had this promotion at work and executive meetings put me into a lot of hell week. I trusted him you see, I was so naive in believing that"

"Then, just a few weeks after our breakup, saw his post on Facebook, where he was blundering that he finally found his perfect match"

"Bastard", Kevin repeated.

"So, I made a decision, I'll forget him and I know I've moved on but seeing him today, just brought back that pain. I know that I've gotten over it but I don't understand why..."

Then Kevin said, "That's because you were facing the truth".

I looked at him and with a smile, I nodded and we spent the afternoon looking into the beautiful sunset.

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  • Current Music: Reach by S Club 7
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God shows miracles..

I started opening this page without the slightest idea on what to really write about.

Though my fingers are itching and the mouse hovers the "Post New Entry" link and ta-da, here I am.

God shows miracles, that's everyday for me and for you too.

Everyday we experience the blessings of God but most of the time, we look out for something bigger and better. We don't really look into the simple things that were given to us.

Everyday, I came to realize God teaches us patience.
Patience to waiting for my sister finish taking the loo so I can take a bath.
Patience in waiting for toast to pop.
Patience for the people in my workplace who doesn't understand what I do at all.
Patience in to all degrees.

Everyday, God teaches us responsibility.
Responsibility to take our lives to be happy. Everyday.
Responsibility in keeping our selves clean and so are the people around us.

Freedom, God blesses us everyday.
Freedom to choose and decide.
Freedom to express.

And a whole lot more on the things we're given..

Life is a miracle everyday. We only have to open our eyes to see all that.

Road to Tokyo2020

As of this writing, I'm currently working on a blog with my best friend --- we're going to share our dreams, random thoughts, plans for Tokyo2020.

Waaaaaaaah!


That's all!

Scary Stories

So I'd just like to share some creepy stuff that happened to me and my family...

Let me know if you got spooked ;)


The Broken Rosary

Three years ago, my family joined a spiritual retreat camp. It was held in a big university here in Bacolod and we stayed at the school's retreat house. For our final night, the kids (which includes young adults, like me ) were tasked to do a role play about good & evil. Earlier that night, we decided to practice at the retreat house garden. It was pretty dark in there and to consider that each of us felt a creepy feeling while practicing our parts and lines. When we were about to finish, my sister Jeanne told me she doesn't feel well. While holding her, I felt the air around the two of us seem suffocating but I ignored it.

Jeanne settled in a mini folding bed at the workstation area since she doesn't want to left alone in our room. I checked on her a few minutes later and found her bathing in sweat and her hands were all cold. I tried to wake her up but she doesn't respond to anything I say. I called my parents, they can't wake her up too. The other older members of the camp take a look into her and told me and my brother to hold on to my sister. They said it looks like she is in a deep trance. My parents and the other grown ups started to speak in tongues ( a form of prayer) and encircled around her. Holding unto my sister, I really felt everything was so heavy. So I took my rosary out of my pocket and I put it inside Jeanne's side pockets.

It was weird because after I did that, tears were rolling down Jeanne's cheeks. Her lips were trembling but still she can't wake up. It was a few more minutes after that she finally opened her eyes and hugged the first person nearest to her, me. We asked her what happened and she told us: when she closed her eyes in an instant she felt that their were hands trying to reach out to her, she did hear us waking her up but a loud sinister laugh was everywhere and we can't hear her shouts for help. She said she kept praying but while she was in an empty dark room she felt that someone was making her forget it. She was struggling until she felt she was able to move her ring finger and that's how she woke up.

After this weird incident, we continued our role play. Jeanne was actually a vital character because she was "the Angel" and we're glad the night's event was successful.


The next creepy thing though was when she asked me, "Who put rosary beads inside my pocket?". "I did," I answered. She then opened her hand and showed me that my rosary was like broken, rather sliced into 5 straight cuts. Which was really weird because no one knew there was a rosary on her pocket and we'd never do that.

We fixed the rosary and had it blessed again. I still have it here in my pocket.
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The Tour Guide

My brother went with my uncle & 2 cousins on a hiking trip. They were given 2 tour guides, to which 1 will be leading them and the other one to stay at the back. In the middle of the hike, my brother tripped on something and saw his shoelace were untied. He called out and said to wait up. He hastily tied his shoes and was glad to see the tour guide stayed with him.

A minute later my brother realized that they were on a less rocky path, with taller grasses around. He felt dizzy all of a sudden when he heard my cousins call. "Hey! Paul, where do you think you're going?"

"Following the tour guide", he replied looking back.

"What tour guide?", our cousin immediately said.

My brother stopped abruptly and looked ahead. Only to see, that he was several inches from plunging into a side of the cliff. It spooked him so he ran towards my cousin.

My cousin told him that they spent almost 20 minutes looking for him. He told my cousin he was clearly following the tour guide and it only took at least 2 minutes for his own walk.

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The Call

My mom worked part-time as a research consultant. One-time she got assigned to U.P. Los Baños and together with 3 others. They were asked to stay at the school's dormitory. Her team doesn't believe in ghostly encounters and shrugged off the warning given by the caretaker; knowing that they'll be the only occupants for the night.

That night, they were brainstorming in the sala when one of the researchers phone rang. He didn't answer his phone right away and just kept looking at the screen. "Grace (one teammate) where is your phone?", he asked.

"Left it inside myroom, why?" Grace answered without looking up.

"You're calling me"

"I... I... how can I?" Grace stammered and went beside him.

All of them got spooked when they saw the caller ID was indeed from Grace. They all went inside the room and saw Grace's phone untouched at the top of her desk. They checked call history and saw the most recent call indeed came from her.

They just all freaked out.

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So, did you got goosebumps? Let me know :)

Hyper!

I'm so excited ...... and I'm reading fanfics and related stuff, and here's what got me hyper (writing something)!!!!

Poem Title: #thefeeling

The feeling of holding each other hands
And the rhythm of our feet walking
Have become our own style
That nobody can imitate

You act more mature than me
But, we have a certain understanding
On what to say,
What to talk about

I wish time will flow,
As we spent more years
Without getting tired of repeating
Our daily life.

Laughing, getting angry, crying together
Surely its because we know each other

We can hold each others hand
You teach me not to let go
No matter what happens
Cause this is our strength
  • Current Music: Vampire by Hey Say JUMP

Christmas Poem ~ Tralalalal~

Found this in my Mom's stash -- I've been secretly looking into her "unused" files in my laptop. Don't worry cause I've been keeping the confidential files, "confidential".

I just can't help though, she needs to share it to the world. The poems she creates:

Here we go:



A New Hope That Christmas Brings


Christmas is a season that each one awaits
For hope, love, joy and harmony it creates
To everyone who opens their hearts in faith
And experience the magic it brings to date.

Always a time to fill in the gaps
To those who miss to share a cap
Comforting words could not suffice
But a hug that certainly brings a sacrifice.

It is only in joyfully giving
That one experienced a peaceful living.
Bringing a face lift to everyone we met
Painting shady façade along the streets.

Who are we not to respond to the call?
To bring true spirit of hope in a tree tall
It is only through sharing this bright new hope
Then a meaningful Christmas will keep tight a rope.


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  • Current Music: Perfect Christmas by Jose Mari Chan